Nicotine And Alcohol
by Suomalainen-Sisu
Summary: Gaara never imagined spending his life working in a dirty café. Then again, he never imagined encountering a cocky blonde man demanding for his number either; especially when he was now sat in the arrogant teenager's lap. NaruGaa AU
1. Chapter 1

Warnings: malexmale smut and strong, insulting language

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.

**Nicotine and Alcohol - 1/3**

* * *

Gaara Sabaku was furious. He was bitter and angry and irritated. He might even go as far to say that right now, he was feeling every single strong, negative emotion possible. And why, you may ask? Because right now, the young man was stood, fuming behind a greasy counter. A small hand tapped cantankerously on the cheap plastic whilst his foot repeated the same rhythm on the oleaginous floor on which, Ino just a few hours ago had managed to spill the remaining fat in the chip fryer.

Luckily, he hadn't been there to witness the scorching liquid spill everywhere, nor had he been ordered to clear it up. Yet, he was the one who had been told to take over the evening shift after his screeching, obese manager had been rushed to hospital with _mild _burns. So…in a way, the reason the red haired man was practically festering in a pool of his own anger behind the counter at eleven in the evening, was Ino's fault.

Still, Gaara actually somehow managed to tolerate the blonde woman and her flirtatious behaviour so he had quickly concluded that the fault was his manager's; if everyone else had managed to avoid the burning liquid, surely his manager could have moved those chafing thighs of his a tad faster rather than standing like a complete oath and letting the grease touch him. Yup, it was unquestionably his manager's own fault.

To put it blandly, his manger was…a creep. And not one those creeps that people might feel sorry for. He wasn't one of those kind, passionate men who'd simply gone down the wrong path. More like…life hadn't quite lived up to expectations and instead of fighting for it, he's simply accepted it. But honestly, the guy was a bit of dick for expecting a good life to be handed to him on a silver platter with little trimmings and herbs whilst sitting at a candle lit table anyway. So really, Gaara didn't feel sorry for him in the slightest.

Particularly not during all those times when Gaara had watched his beetle-like eyes be drawn to anything with breasts that entered the café. Although, the red haired man disbelieved that half the time, the breasts even mattered. For he was convinced that more often than not, his manager's chubby, clammy hands had passed a bit too close to the red haired man's butt, causing Gaara to flinch and shiver in a displeased, uncomfortable manner.

Gaara scratched at his knee through his jeans. Well…there was perhaps one reason why the young man might have one day learnt to endure his boss. And that was his decision to abolish the rules regarding their work uniform on their lower halves. Sure, he was still forced to wear the disgusting burgundy coloured shirt which proudly read _Sunagakure_, as well as the hideous name tag which mockingly read '_Hi, my name is Gaara. I work here. Come ask me questions, I will bring a smile to your face' _followed by an obnoxious smiley face. But at least he didn't have to regularly iron smart black trousers as his jeans were much comfier and happier substitute.

Then again, the only reason the rules had been disregarded in the first place was because of the pained, effort filled grunts that escaped his boss whenever he had tried to sit down in his tight suit trousers. For a long time, the sight, along with its noise effects had been both comical yet deeply disturbing and Gaara along with the rest of his colleagues couldn't quite decide if the disappearance of this regular performance had been a disappointment or a huge relief. Gaara, deciding to go for the optimistic view-point had decided it had been a widely accepted and approved choice.

The pale man glanced at the digital clock situated behind him for what felt like the hundredth time. His eyebrow twitched. Really? Not even five minutes had passed? He continued to glare at the clock, convinced that some bitch had obviously tampered with the time and that it was actually close to twelve and he could leave soon. Maybe it had been Kiba? That man had always been a bit of cunt and the young man wouldn't put it past him to do something like that.

Gaara sighed. It was a fruitless assumption anyway, possibly even more absurd then that time when he had unsuccessfully prayed for Hinata's massive breasts to suffocate him to death, just so that he didn't have to come in the next day. Unfortunately for him however, his plea had not come true and instead, he had spent the following day mopping the same one metre area of the café until the floor glared blindingly up at him whilst snarling at anyone who had questioned his strange behaviour. For ever since Gaara had gotten his job at _Sunagakure_, the man's luck hadn't been particularly good. He wouldn't say that he had been cursed or whatever…just that his idle wishes never seemed to be getting answered. Then again, the red haired man wasn't predominantly religious to begin with.

Another sigh left him; at least he was getting paid for his extra hours…even though that thought hardly boosted his spirits. It's not like announcing to the world that he'd be getting an extra twenty quid today would bring any extra life to the café. It's not like anyone would start amusingly dancing in joy. His eyes looked to the drunken group of teenagers in the corner in a slightly hopeful manner. Nope. They were _way_ too pissed to even stand up straight, let alone put on any sort of dance show that might have amused the red haired man. He turned his head to face the only other customers in the cafe: a slightly overweight couple eating quietly. He scoffed, 'slightly' and 'quietly' had been grave understatements. The couple were practically drowning each other in fast food and Gaara quietly pondered whether he should go over to them and offer them another chair to seat their overflowing buttocks. They certainly wouldn't be dancing any time soon.

"_Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna think anymore._

_I left my head and heart on the dance floor."_

Gaara groaned inaudibly and resisted the urge to slam his head against the plastic counter. Why the_ fuck_ did Ino need to leave her phone behind while she went on her fag break? Grumbling and cursing quietly, he dragged himself over to the phone and peered somewhat curiously at the caller ID. Kiba, huh? Ino's little fuck buddy. Or, 'friend with benefits' as most people would have called it. Though most of the time, Gaara couldn't care in slightest what his work colleagues were up to. As long as they weren't trying to steal money or cigarettes from his bag, he couldn't give a shit.

But even he couldn't deny that the blonde woman and tattooed man were perfect for each other. Both were complete idiots. Drug and alcohol dependent addicts who slacked off work as soon their manager turned his sweaty back. Although…she'd probably end up pregnant within the year and then Kiba would just ditch her, just like he did with all the other sluts he'd knocked up. Gaara highly doubted that his fingers were enough to count the number of kids the brunette man had helped to create and then just thrown aside. The young man might have needed to borrow a few toes as well to get the exact figure.

"Excuse me." The red haired man spun round, breaking off his glaring competition with the ringing phone and faced his customer. Wow. She'd actually managed to stand up without causing herself a heart attack? Impressive.

Gaara cocked an eyebrow at the overweight woman before him and smirked. "Welcome to café _Sunagakure_, where every day, we aim to put a smile on your face. What can I get you today?"

"The toilet." She replied gruffly, eyes leaving Gaara's and drawing to the neat pile of muffins situated just off the red haired man's hand. Gaara blinked. Was that drool collecting up at the corner of her mouth? God, she was disgusting! He watched her greedy tongue emerge from her mouth, sliding disgustingly across her lips and making a hideous slurping sound in the process. The young man grimaced, only to realise the woman's attention was back in him and she was staring at him impatiently.

"What?"

"Could you show me where the toilets are?" Her beady eyes narrowed at his tone and her lips disappeared into a thin line.

"Woman, I sell burgers. What do you expect? A fucking tour guide of the place?" He grumbled out in an exasperated tone, taking pride in the way the woman had shuffled back a few steps at his words. He then watched in mild glee as her toes curled unpleasantly within the god-awful neon yellow crocs she was wearing whilst the brunette gaped at him.

"Excuse me? I wasn't asking for backchat! I was just -." She spluttered out, eyes wide and shocked.

"Hold on. Let me go turn this bullshit off first," He barely spared the brunette another glance as he marched over to the phone and practically punched at the cancel button. Fuck off, Kiba. As he then strolled leisurely back to his original spot, he allowed a yawn to escape his mouth. Giving the flustered woman his signature blank look, he said. "What?" And cocked his eyebrow once more.

"You kids need to learn some manners." She said shortly. Lifting a chubby finger, she waved it in the air as she left in search for the toilet, frown cemented firmly across her face as she occasionally turned to send deadly glares at the pale man.

"Learn to diet and I might." He grumbled after her. Gaara followed her waddle-like movements lazily with his eyes, wondering if the woman would even manage to push herself into the cubicle without getting stuck in the doorway.

The pale man scoffed at the thought; tongue emerging from his mouth as he scraped his metal piercing across his teeth carelessly. A bad habit of his, yet a soothing one. Much more civilised than punching his frustrations out of an innocent customer at least.

* * *

"Well, aren't you a pretty one." The low voice caused Gaara to halt his movement. He had been busy leaning his head against the counter as he had idly flicked pieces of scrap food over the edge and onto the grimy floor. The more Ino had to clean later, the more satisfaction the pale man would feel.

But now he had to deal with an irritating, horny young boy. And what made the prospect even more daunting was the fact that the kid was probably no older then fifteen; undoubtedly _at least_ four years his junior. An arrogant little twat with a probably overwhelmingly bad case of acne and a greasy mop of hair with…- oh?

Or…maybe not.

Because this _man _was breathtakingly handsome; with tanned skin, glistening blue eyes and blonde strands of hair that hung around his ears. The man, stood before him in black jeans and an orange zip-up hoodie which hid toned arms was certainly not unattractive. Even Gaara, whose standards were often unusually high, couldn't deny that this guy was the most striking man to enter the café in a long, long time. Not that the competition was very serious in the first place; most customers were either tired adults or teenagers on drugs.

"Oh, and look at that cheerful face! Your enthusiasm is almost blinding." And there it was again. That cocky, arrogant tone; voice filled with an unknown confidence that surrounded the strange customer in an unusual smug aura.

Gaara's blank face stared up at the blonde man; he slowly straightened up and fixed the tanned guy with a curious look. "Welcome to café _Sunagakure, _where every day, we aim to put a smile on your face. What can I get you today?" Gaara replied monotonously as he churned out the words in a well-memorised drone.

In response, the man gave a wide smile and allowed his eyes to scope, blatantly obviously over the pale man's skinny frame. His pierced eyebrow rose in silent approval and his grin widened. "Your number thanks." Gaara cocked his head to the side in an intrigued manner. Was this guy being serious? Really? Just because the man was mildly attractive didn't mean that the pale man was ready to bend over and submit himself to the blonde stranger. Gaara had a lot more dignity then that. Unlike Ino, who he spotted from the corner of his eye; she was currently pulling frantically at her shirt, urging it to shift lower and reveal her cleavage as she leant over a nearby table whilst giving the blonde customer a heated stare. Gaara scoffed. No matter how attractive you were, trying to look appealing whilst cleaning a ketchup covered table would never work.

The red haired man sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, separating the locks of hair that had been previously shaped into an impeccable, neat style due to the heavy insistence of Sakura after he had refused to dye his hair into a more 'neutral' colour. The idiot had refused to believe that the blood-red colour was natural and it wasn't until Gaara had threatened to flash his pubic hair in the middle of the café – crowded by families with screaming kids that she has finally backed down. It was quite ironic though. Especially when considering the pale pink hair of the bitch and the bleached locks of her number one friend – coincidently, also a bitch.

"I'm sorry, my number's not on the menu. Try again?" The sweet undertone in his voice had the stranger chuckling in amusement.

"That's such a shame, babe," his tone dropped in pitch, falling to a much lower register and his eyes once more swept over Gaara. "Sure I can't help change your mind?" The stranger chewed at his bottom lip seductively and gave a quick glance at the pale man's teal eyes from beneath thick lashes. At this, even Gaara let out a shuddering breath and gripped the counter just a tad harder than usual. No way. No way in hell was this man going to seduce him. He'd rather dive head first into the chip fryer then do _anything _with the guy.

"Fortunately, _Sunagakure_ does not take customer suggestions right now. But we're sure we can provide you with something just as good." The red haired man answered shortly, voice now laced a sudden coldness. Couldn't the young man get the message by now? Or were his intelligence levels just as low as the other customers that wandered into the café with bewildered expressions?

"What? Like a fuck? Might loosen you up a bit, babe." The man smirked and Gaara focused his attention on the man's eyebrow piercing, rather than his captivating eyes. After all, staring at the tiny gold hoop was much more interesting and less embarrassing then spluttering at the handsome man awkwardly. Even though the blonde man's very forward and direct flirting had already shocked the pale man somewhat.

"Sadly, that's not on the menu either. Have you tried our blueberry muffins though?" Gaara was currently teetering on the fine line of deciding whether the man before him was just a slightly loud, obnoxious and very, very attractive man… or a complete cunt.

"Funny." This time, he licked his lips and the red haired man flicked another scrap piece of food onto the floor with his finger, watching as it fell from the counter. By now, Gaara had even admitted to himself that he was just searching for distractions. He really didn't know why though. The man was a complete idiot: a cock. Admittedly, an attractive one though; with a surprisingly entertaining attitude.

"I try to be." Gaara said simply.

"I guess I'm gonna have to settle for that muffin now, aren't I?" He faked a dramatic sigh before focusing his blue eyes on the pale man's nametag. Gaara watched his serious expression crack as the young man simpered and pouted in a way that would have been cute if the man had been ten years younger and wasn't trying to seduce the red head. "Oh Gaara! You promise to put a smile to my face yet I don't even get your number." He then proceeded to give the pale man a smouldering look and Gaara raised a small hand to cover his nametag defensively whilst a glare cemented itself onto his face.

"Nice try, asswipe," The pale man said. "Why don't you go seduce her? She looks more than happy to oblige." Gaara cocked his head to Ino and he swore he heard the poor woman squeal in delight as the blonde man leant against the counter and turned to peer at her curiously.

"She's hot," He nodded in appreciation, eyes resting on her ass. "But…I don't play for her team," He glanced back to Gaara. "I'm sure you know what I mean. You're a smart boy." At this he raised a toned arm and made an obscene movement with his hand and mouth. He laughed joyfully at his own joke.

"You sure? Her netball team sure could use a strong pair of arms." Gaara snarled back, unimpressed by the young man.

He smirked. "Not exactly my favourite sport. But you on the other hand, you can come play with me anytime." He raised his pierced eyebrow invitingly.

Gaara snorted. "Is that some sort of shitty pick up line that's supposed to make me drop my pants and bend over?"

Eyes fixed firmly on Gaara he exclaimed loudly. "Well…I never expected you for an exhibitionist. But whatever rocks your boat, babe. I'll never say no to an audience." His lips quirked slightly.

"Cunt." Gaara said before shortly slamming a blueberry muffin onto the counter.

"Actually, I'm Naruto but whatever." The tanned man said and shrugged in an uncaring manner, although a teasing undertone was detectable as he deposited loose change onto the counter.

"_You're_ a cunt."

"And you love it," He replied and his mouth stretched into a wide grin whilst Gaara's did the opposite and instead turned into a thin line, thus presenting his obvious disapproval towards the young man and the subject of their brief conversation. "Thanks for the muffin, babe." He picked up the food wrapped in plastic and then preceded to _fucking _wink and then saunter slowly out of the front door. What managed to annoy Gaara even more was how the automatic doors opened with ease to allow the cocky man to pass through, instead of opening partially, like usual and forcing the fleeing customer to use brute strength to wrench open the disobeying doors.

The red haired man chewed irritably on his bottom lip, eyes having already narrowed down to small slits from his intense glare. What a cunt. What an _arrogant_ asshole Naruto was. He huffed in frustration.

"So like…that guy was like pretty hot, y'know."

Oh god. Please no. Not now.

But unfortunately, as Gaara turned to face the young woman, Ino popped her bubble gum loudly, before smacking her lips together and chewing vociferously. Seriously? Was this woman asking for a death sentence? "So did you like, give him like, my number?" The red haired man's eyebrow quivered dangerously and his eyes shot towards the clock, ignoring the clueless woman before him.

It was quarter to twelve. Thank fuck.

Shoving past her and ignoring her idiotic question, his hand grabbed the nearest mop and he vaulted over the greasy counter before busying himself in the quietest corner of the café. As he wiped a shining layer of water over the oily floor he proceeded to lecture himself, reprimanding himself that he should have shown a much higher level of concern for his squealing pig of a manager and his 'serious' burns, just so he could escape this imprisonment (just like Hinata had), drive to the nearby hospital and pretend to fuss over his injured boss. It would have been a much more entertaining way to have spent the past two hours. Watching his leader's twisted; pained face must have been ten times more satisfying then dealing with an obnoxious young man or Ino's mortifying ringtone.

Gaara sighed and dunked his mop into a soapy bucket again as he opened his mouth and once more allowed his tongue to drag the tiny silver ball across his teeth. There. Much better.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Nicotine and Alcohol – 2/3**

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The end of Gaara's shift had come painfully slowly. But as the minute hand had finally reached its destination at the twelve, the red haired man had vaulted over the counter in his hurry to leave. Swiftly swapping his burgundy shirt for a more comfortable red sweater, Gaara had then quickly fled the café with a half-hearted grunt towards Ino's general direction whilst she had yawned and popped a fresh piece of pink chewing gum into her mouth. The mutterings of the fat duo who still remained eating in their plastic chairs followed him out of the building and Gaara was positive that the words "red haired prick" were mentioned. In response to this, Gaara had conveniently walked past the window next to obese couple and had aimed a wink at the woman before sticking his two middles fingers in the air and chuckling at her horrified look. His amused expression quickly turned into a face of pure and utter disgust however, as the remains of a burger dropped from her gaping mouth onto her tray. Wow. Attractive much?

Leaving the shelter of the filthy building; with its broken doors and graffiti covered welcoming sign, Gaara had strode across the damp concrete of the car park in search for his moving scrap of metal. After finally locating his car in its usual spot; as far away as humanely possible from the café and with a few kicks with his converse covered foot, the car door had flung open, along with a protesting noise and Gaara had swiftly deposited himself in the driving seat.

Dreamily anticipating the leftover Chinese takeover from yesterday waiting for him in his fridge, Gaara had almost excitedly pushed the keys into the ignition switch and turned…only, for nothing to happen. Shit.

A few agonising, pain filled minutes passed and the red haired man was now sat, fuming, as he pounded his fists against steering wheel and dashboard.

"Fuck," Gaara jammed the key back into the ignition switch and turned the key sharply. His car shuddered loudly, screeching in remonstration at the strain placed upon it. However, it refused to splutter to life and finally the red haired man's grip slackened and the car grew quiet. "For fuck's sake!" He cried out and loudly proceeded to smack the steering wheel. The loud beep from the horn seemed to echo across the silent car park as Gaara slumped heavily against the back of his seat. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" He repeated, a pale hand massaging his temples as he stared out into the darkness ahead of him.

Attempting to walk home at this time would be considered suicidal. And while Gaara had often idly daydreamed of drowning himself in milkshakes, or eating enough grease covered fries to cause himself to go into cardiac arrest, he certainly did not want to get stabbed in a dark alley somewhere. There were_ way _too many dildos wandering around town at night for his journey home on foot to be remotely safe, and Gaara was certainly not thrilled by the idea of appearing in that tiny column of the latest 'stab victims' in the local newspaper.

So instead of opening the car door, Gaara pursed his lips angrily together and stared at the tiny clock on his dashboard. His sister, Temari was working the night shift at the local hospital and she wouldn't be finished for quite some time. And Kankuro couldn't drive due to the fact he'd been too lazy to move his ass and bother to turn up on the day of his driving exam. The red head sighed. He'd have to wait for Temari to finish, whenever that might be… Now was the perfect time to curse his lack of interest in his siblings' lives. If he'd actually had Kankuro's number saved on his phone, he could have called his lazy brother and urged him to pay for a taxi to pick up his younger, stranded brother. But he didn't. So fuck that idea.

The drumming of pale fingers against the cheap leather of the steering wheel quickly occupied the silence as Gaara occasionally huffed and sighed in obvious annoyance. Forty five dismal minutes dragged by, during which the red head actually considered returning to the café and sitting mournfully in one of the hard chairs for the next few hours. He quickly dismissed the thought though. Sitting in the café meant having to talk to Ino. And talking to Ino involved losing some of the brain cells that Gaara very proudly possessed. The idea of listening to the blonde woman babble on and on and on and on about her sexual adventures, recent bikini waxing sessions and the latest hair bleaching products was not appealing in the slightest. And whilst Gaara still cursed the thief who had stolen the car radio only two months ago, he was thankful that the broken car at least provided him with a quiet escape and shelter. The least he could do was try to be optimistic in the current situation. Gaara sighed again and sank lower into his seat.

"Something wrong, babe?"

Gaara blinked. On second thought, maybe not, because god _fucking_ hated him. God _had _to hate him! Gaara wasn't about to deny that he was no saint, but really? Really? He highly doubted that anyone else's life sucked as much as his did now. The pale man stared up at the sky through a cracked windscreen and cursed violently to himself. Fucking hell, why was it always him?

The sound of the passenger door opening was heard and shortly afterwards, a heavy body plopped down into the stained seat beside him; during which time, Gaara prayed pathetically for the apocalypse to suddenly begin and for a hoard of zombies to march through the parking lot and devour the man sat next to him. The man, who was already propping his feet up against the dashboard, and levering the back of the passenger seat into a lower, more comfortable position. God, the man was _already_ making himself at home. He was such a cunt! An extremely good looking cunt, mind you. But still, a cunt no less.

"Oh, yay! Look! It's my personal stalker!" Gaara somehow managed to quirk his lips into a small fake smile and lift his hands half-heartedly into the air in an obnoxious greeting, despite his situation…before his face once again dropped into its blank, emotionless expression and he snarled. "Fuck off, alright?" Taking his eyes off the dismal empty car park, Gaara turned to face the tanned man.

"Ouch, you seemed a lot nicer inside." Naruto pouted in response and shifted to get comfy.

"Sorry to fucking hurt your feelings then." He spat out.

"Oh, I think _someone's_ having a bad day." The man's tone was light and soft as he almost sung the words before pursing his lips together and giving a faint smile. "You know, sex supposedly makes you happier." Naruto leant back in his seat and shrugged. "You should try it; I know for sure that I'd happily volunteer to help you out." He added conversationally and Gaara resisted the urge to lean over and punch that smile of his idiotic, if not extremely sexy face.

Because Naruto's casual, light-hearted tone was already grating on Gaara's nerves. "Why the _fuck_ are you here? Fuck off!" Gaara reached a hand up to rub at his temple, as if circling his fingers around that one spot would somehow cause the man next to him to disappear and for the irritation he was currently feeling for the entirety of humankind to cease to exist. It was an unlikely attempt. But it was better than nothing, Gaara supposed.

"Never gave me your number now, did you?" Naruto teased as he practically fucking cooed out the words with that stupid wonky smile of his and a raised pierced eyebrow. God, why was this man so persistent? Why was this insanely good looking man, with a bad boy attitude that would have Ino swooning, trying to flirt with Gaara? And seriously, why did that stupid gold piercing have to suit the tanned man so well? And why couldn't Gaara take his eyes off Naruto? Gaara grumbled quietly to himself and frowned.

He was busy pondering just how much force it would take to rip the stupid hoop out of the man's eyebrow and exactly how much pain it would cause Naruto…only to be interrupted when a tanned arm reached out suddenly to slowly stroke at Gaara's inner thigh. The rough hand caressed harshly at the jean covered muscle and the red head gasped in shock as Naruto brushed dangerously close to that bulge in Gaara's pants that was now beginning to show interest to the blonde man. _Great_, now his body was betraying him too. Fucking fantastic! Gaara pushed the invasive hand away, his body jerking hesitantly up towards the retreating hand before the redhead regained control and cemented his hips firmly back into his seat. Turning, he fixed Naruto with a cold glare. And then Naruto started laughing, and Gaara's glower only intensified. The bloody prick was laughing at him! Fuck him! Fuck him for being such a massive fucking piece of shit!

Naruto's chuckles eventually quieted and he glanced over at the man quivering in silent anger. "What's up, babe?"

"You little shit!" Gaara screeched up him, voice high pitched and laced with hatred for the stranger. The young man was now very seriously considering leaping over into Naruto's seat and punching the smirking man until blood dripped from a broken, wonky nose and he begged for Gaara to let him go…but then he'd be arrested. And then Temari would have to bail him out and well, last time she'd practically chewed his ear off for getting in trouble. Then again, the tiny enclosed space provided by four white cell walls was probably way more soothing and therapeutic than sitting in a cramped car listening to Naruto ramble on and tease the poor red haired man anyway.

Deciding against the illegal actions he had previously contemplated, Gaara grinded his teeth together and considered abandoning the car instead and heading back inside, thus leaving the horny stranger behind him. If he hurried, he might still be able to afford a chuckle or two at the stoned and drunk teenagers before Ino kicked them out with that shrill shrieking of hers. Gaara sighed. But Naruto would just follow him inside though. He obviously didn't have anything else to do besides stalking young men and hoping to get a decent fuck out of them. Well, he could be as fucking tenacious as he wanted. He was not getting his grimy hands anywhere near Gaara's naked skin. Besides, if he went inside he was stuck with Ino. And nothing was worse than Ino. Even _this_ was better than spending time in the close proximity to that blonde idiot for fucks sake.

Naruto cocked his pierced eyebrow. "Well, what can I say? I'm a persistent guy." His smile remained plastered to his intolerable face and Gaara positively hated the fact that the smile suited Naruto in such a way that would probably have had any normal guy falling to his knees in front of the idiot. And _this_ was the perfect example of why life was so not fair! Why did the idiot get blessed with such a god-like body when Gaara was stuck with frail, skinny limbs that were so pale that he put Edward fucking Cullen to shame?

Gaara sat in his seat, hands clenching and unclenching around air whilst his face held a look of absolute fury and disgust. Now, indeed would be the _perfect_ time for the end of the world to just _hurry the fuck up_! The red head glanced up at the darkening sky once more, and any remaining ounce of hope in his body faded away. Nope. Okay then. Thanks for nothing. "Do you wanna get the fuck out of my car?"

"Nah, not really. And by the looks of things, I'm gonna go ahead and say that it looks like you're not going anywhere anytime soon anyway." Naruto replied and patted the dashboard in a sympathetic manner as Gaara once more twisted the keys and begged the car to start. Instead, it let out a painful groan of protest, shaking in exertion before falling silent. Naruto sighed dramatically. "Personally, I love it. It's all nice and cosy in here." He slumped against his seat and squirmed suddenly in annoyance at the loose spring that Gaara knew was currently digging into his back like a bitch. Ha, serves the bastard right! At times like these, Gaara was grateful that his car was years old (with several faults) that only just scrapped through its yearly checks.

Though, Gaara's gleeful expression was short lived as Naruto's movements stilled and he glanced warmly up at the red head from his position.

"Though, looks like it might get a tad chilly soon. Wanna come press your tight little ass against me and share body heat?" Naruto stated as an afterthought and laughed, cackling loudly as he hoisted a clunking bag up onto his lap and began to dig blindly around for something. Since when had he had that with him?

Gaara shook the question away and instead focused on praying that the sheer weight of the bag somehow managed to crush the breath out of the idiot beside him. He sighed shortly after the thought passed through his mind. That kind of fantasy was like asking Ino to not say the fucking word 'like' in every single bloody sentence that left her lips. Yeah, it was impossible, right? You'd need more than a fucking miracle for it to happen. "Stop with the cheap eighties porno lines already? It's not working, cunt." Gaara pulled his knees up onto the car seat and rested his hands on top of them as he face fell into its usual blank state as his eyes trekked lazily across the empty car park.

"You ever going to use my real name, babe?" Naruto shot back, and clinking of glass bottles was heard from within his bag whilst the red head frowned at him, arms crossed warily across his chest. "Cheer up, Gaara." He purred out and then let out a loud exclaim filled with delight as he withdrew his arm from his bag, a small vodka bottle clasped firmly in his right hand. Naruto continued to stare lovingly at the bottle as he unscrewed the top in a way that completely sickened Gaara and had his upper lip curving up in blatant disgust at Naruto's eager face. This day was getting fucking better and better, wasn't it? A horny man with way too much enthusiasm and cheesy lines that he'd obviously collected during his adventurous times watching god-awful porn in his dark bedroom. And _now_ he was an alcoholic? God, was the man about to pull a bag of cocaine from boxers? Because frankly, Gaara would not have been particularly surprised.

Gaara's eye twitched in silent anger as he observed Naruto take a huge gulp of the clear liquid, before pulling the bottle way from his lips and scrunching his face up as the liquid spilled down his throat. He then proceeded to smile widely at Gaara and take another sip, albeit, this one was a lot smaller.

"Drink?" Naruto finally asked and extended an arm holding tightly onto the vodka bottle.

"Trying to get me drunk are you?" Gaara said, yet he reached for the alcohol anyway and wasted no time in hastily swallowing down a few gulps of the burning liquid that tasted more like nail varnish remover then any decent vodka really should have. Hadn't Temari told him to never accept anything from strangers? Oh well. Fuck that. Gaara tipped his head back against the seat, eyes closed momentarily as he urged the alcohol running through his body to get to work a tiny bit faster. Maybe if he got a bit tipsy then Naruto's ridiculous comments would become less exasperating. A grunt from his left caused Gaara to crack open one eyelid and stare curiously at Naruto's outstretched hand before the red head deposited the cheap bottle in his grasp with a sigh.

"Oh, don't worry, babe. I'm not into using cheap tricks like that." Naruto said, happily taking another drink.

"You're loving this, aren't you?"

"Better than wanking over shit gay porn at home. Besides, your ass is way better than those idiots'." He shrugged at Gaara's raised brow and judgmental look. "You're hot."

"You're gonna sit here, for hours, because I'm hot?" Was this man crazy? Wait, that was a stupid question, of course this bastard was! Goddammit, why couldn't Naruto just leave him alone?

"No. I'm going to sit here for thirty minutes, during which time I'll listen to you bitch at every comment I make and we'll both drink and smoke until you feel slightly happier. And _then,_ I'm going to fuck you."

"You've planned this all out, haven't you? Oh, I feel so privileged. Sorry to crush your dreams." Gaara grumbled back.

Naruto just laughed at that. As if he completely disagreed with Gaara's comment and that itself had Gaara's eyes narrowing, but Gaara refrained from giving a biting response to the obnoxious laugh. Instead he huffed in his seat, hugging his legs against his chest and occasionally accepting the vodka bottle from Naruto.

Gaara took another sip and swallowed before pushing his tongue out so that his piercing poked from the gap between his lips. From the corner of he witnessed Naruto's eyebrows rise in surprise and the man whistled in appreciation. "If you make one comment about how amazing my piercing would feel against your cock, I will fucking punch you." Gaara warned, running the wet metal along his lips and giving a look towards Naruto that screamed 'go on, _I dare you'. _

"Wasn't even dreaming of it, Gaara." Naruto replied as he moved his hand down to cup himself through his trousers and give his cock a few lazy jerks through the material. "Between your ass and mouth, I'd choose your ass." He mumbled and faked an outrageous moan, jolting his hand faster whilst making an obscene scrunched up face that belonged in amateur porn. "I'm so hot for you, Gaara." He winked and chuckled, letting go of his hardened member. What made things even worse was that Naruto actually knew he was appealing on the eyes. He showed of his best bits proudly, and the cock causing his pants to tent up certainly didn't look like it would have been disappointing.

And thus Gaara carefully kept his eyesight above the man's waist, though he did actually give a crooked smile in response to Naruto's little over-dramatic act and took another gulp of the vodka as the duo fell into silence. The man was _completely_ insane; Gaara had long ago confirmed that. _This_ was just the icing on the cake. Gaara scoffed to himself, earning a raised eyebrow from Naruto as the pair instinctively exchanged the emptying vodka bottle between the two of them.

But you know the strange thing? When Naruto wasn't making some comment about his cock, or Gaara's ass, the silence...was surprisingly pleasant. But Gaara would never tell Naruto that. Instead he shifted around into a comfy position and stared uncaringly out of the window, eyes not really concentrating on anything as he just allowed them to wander. Gaara figured Naruto was doing the same thing, as a sigh left the blonde man and the faint _tap_, _tap_, _tap _of a finger poking at the window filled the air.

The two men weren't sat in silence long before Naruto began digging around in his trouser pocket. Gaara groaned. Could this man not sit still? He'd tolerated the window tapping, having preferred it to the sound of Naruto's actual voice. But now he had to start moving around and being annoying once more? What was he? Some drug addict with withdrawal symptoms? Naruto pulled his hand away and opened his fist slowly. Gaara's gaze flickered from Naruto's beaming face…down to the rolled joint in his palm…and then back to the blonde's face. Why was he not surprised?

"Do you mind?" Naruto asked as he fished out a lighter.

"Yeah, I do mind."

The tanned man scoffed and lit the cancer stick anyway.

Gaara couldn't help but roll his eyes. Lowering his feet back to the carpeted floor of the car, Gaara watched coldly as Naruto placed the spliff to his lips, inhaled deeply before exhaling a thick cloud of foggy air into the car. The wispy remains of the smoke flew towards Gaara and he dispersed the cloud with a wave of his hand and a glare at the tanned man.

Naruto shrugged and handed the joint to Gaara, who wasted no time taking a long drag, closing his eyes and breathing out steadily as the poisonous gas invaded his lungs. One joint shared between two was hardly enough to have much effect, maybe make them a bit giddy, and both Naruto and Gaara knew that. Yet they smoked the spliff sparingly, savouring that familiar feeling that had Naruto giving Gaara a slightly droopy smile at one point.

The smell of the cancer stick invaded the car and as both men relaxed against their seats, Gaara exhaled the smoke in a neat little circle. Both men watched it rise into the air and then break apart with slow moving eyes before Gaara passed the fag to Naruto and in exchange took the vodka bottle into his waiting hand.

A puff of smoke, followed by a gulp of vodka and a grimace with a remark about how horrid the cheap liquid was; that's what occupied several minutes of Naruto and Gaara's time. Until the empty bottle rolled under a car seat and Naruto tried to stump out the joint against the car's dashboard only to receive a warning growl of Gaara.

Naruto afforded him a sheepish smile and ran a hand through his blonde locks. "So…are we gonna fuck now or what?" He asked casually, pulling his feet down to the floor as he opened the car door a crack and threw out the remains of the spliff. Stretching his hands up above his head for a brief while, Naruto tilted his head from side to side and Gaara grimaced at the small popping sound that ran through the vehicle.

"Still trying to get something you'll never have?" Gaara mocked and gave out a dry laugh which quickly died on lips as Naruto's hand once again began to creep up his inner leg. "Naruto…" He shifted away from the invasive hand, moving to press his back against the car door and later regretted the decision once he found himself trapped between the door and Naruto's warm body which had moved expectantly towards Gaara. Naruto was too close now. So close that Gaara could feel his warm breath hitting his face and could see the distinctive way that Naruto's blue irises shone in enjoyment and lust. Gaara cocked his head, firmly fixing his mouth into one straight aggravated line and tried to keep all emotion off his face.

And he managed to keep up the unimpressed act for surprisingly long too…until Naruto came even closer, smirking joyfully, eyebrow cocked, and Gaara was forced to glide a wet tongue over dry lips to moisten them. "Ah, come on, babe. You're no blushing virgin." Naruto tried and a hand reached up to stroke almost lovingly down the side of Gaara's face. It ended up cupping the red head's cheek.

"Charming." Gaara pulled a face of distaste and tried to shake himself from Naruto's grasp. Though, the attempt was not nearly as enthusiastic as it had been earlier and resulted in Gaara merely shaking his head before stilling his movement and sighing. Damn it.

"You know you want to."

"You don't know anything." Gaara pointed out but the comment felt weak on his lips and Gaara doubted that he, himself, even believed those words.

"I know that if I tried to pound into that tight ass of yours right now, you wouldn't reject me. Would you, babe?" Yes. Yes, he would. He'd totally push the man away; maybe threaten to sue him for harassment while he was there. Yeah, Gaara had no problem rejecting the man staring at him like he was a meal to be devoured. He had no problem -…

And then a strong, toned arm circled around his waist, the other still cupping his cheek. Gaara certainly didn't mean to let out the gasp of surprise when Naruto pulled him flush against his own chest and his eyes certainly weren't supposed to widen like saucers at the feeling of Naruto's hard-on pressed against his thigh. Gaara spluttered at the stranger. Since when had Naruto practically crawled into his seat and straddled the poor man?

"Come on. Reject me then." Naruto whispered into his ear. It was challenge that Gaara failed to rise up to before the blonde man began to place small, wet kisses down Gaara's defined jaw. Oh god. Why did those perfect lips have to trail so teasingly and so wantonly against his skin? Why did Naruto's hot breath have to cause shivers to run down Gaara's spine? And why did that musky, male smell have to waft from Naruto's body so obviously and why did it have to smell so, so _fucking good_?

God! Gaara hated this man! He hated his smug little attitude and his obnoxious little grin and his stupid toned arms that felt so good and – Fuck!

The red haired man inhaled sharply, one pale hand gripping the steering wheel tightly and he fought briefly to maintain his last ounce of restraint. He was _not_ going to react to this guy's advances. No way. He was going to push him away and shout in his face. He wasn't going to pull the guy closer, or shift his hand off his cheek to cup his ass. Nope. That wasn't going to happen. Gaara was strong minded, goddammit! And one good looking, sexy, flirtatious guy was not going to change that! Gaara was going to keep himself under control. He swallowed thickly and shifted his head to stare directly into the blonde man's eyes. Damn it.

He promptly gave up all attempts at refraining himself from touching the stranger…

And slammed his lips against Naruto's.

* * *

I know I originally said this was going to be a twoshot, but the lead up to the smut become a lot longer than I expected so, yeah, I didn't want to upload like a 8000 word chapter. So the next part will contain smut, I promise! Remember to review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Nicotine and Alcohol – 3/3**

* * *

The hot, needy mouth pressed against his responded immediately, moving desperately against Gaara's and causing his head to spin. The pale man didn't even pause to think as a wet tongue was thrust through his parted lips and their teeth clanged. Tongues fought for dominance, a battle neither person was willingly going to hand over as the cool metal of Gaara's piercing rubbed earnestly against Naruto's moist tongue. The pale man wrapped one arm around Naruto's neck as his other hand came up to bury itself in Naruto's blonde locks. He pulled at the hairs…and took great joy in the hiss that escaped Naruto's mouth. Serves that bastard right!

Though as soon as Naruto pulled Gaara's plump lip into his mouth and nibbled gently (yet in a way that Gaara would _definitely_ remember,) on the flesh, Gaara completely forgot all his insults and how much he detested the blonde man. He spent more time appreciating the expertise of Naruto's tongue rather than hating the man, and when Naruto finally released Gaara's bottom lip with a small _plop_, Gaara immediately reconnected their mouths with a burning kiss as both men explored each other's mouths with strokes of their tongues.

The back of the car door dug irritably into Gaara's ass but _god_, the redhead didn't care as he fought for dominance against the older man. He glided his tongue against Naruto's, eager to (no, _needing _to) feel Naruto respond and supply him with the wild pleasure that Naruto seemed so good at providing.

They broke apart and panted heavily, wet mouths open, only an inch separating them as eyes briefly met before wandering down to their partner's plush lips. Naruto's hot breath hit Gaara's face until the redhead re-connected the duo's mouths, albeit, this time their movements were sloppier, more uncontrolled as the pair lost themselves in the lust of the moment.

Teeth and tongues and wet, hot desperation; nothing like those cheesy romantic kisses where fireworks exploded in the background and church choirs sung gently hymns. No, this was lust filled and raw and soon rough hands were tracing the curves of Gaara's body until they rested upon his hips and then moved down to cup his ass. The two hands squeezed the flesh beneath them…and even Gaara couldn't help the broken moan that was released from his mouth as Naruto retreated from there in favour of sucking, licking and biting his way across Gaara's jawline before tracing the shell of the pale man's ear with an invasive tongue.

But then Gaara pushed Naruto away back into his own seat, opting to relieve himself of his sweater and t-shirt before pausing, crawling over into Naruto's lap and doing the same to the blonde man. Material was pulled away to reveal a tanned muscular chest and even through his haze of lust, Gaara still managed to blink and stare wide-eyed at the pink nubs on Naruto's chest. A nipple piercing? Seriously?! This man was going to be the death of him.

"Is sticking holes in your body and pushing a metal bar through it something you do regularly?"

"I heard it impresses guys like you." Naruto mumbled back as he placed feather light kisses and bites down Gaara's chest, allowing his tongue to flick over the top of both Gaara's nipples and smiling cheekily at the sharp intakes of air that it caused.

"Guys like me?"

He laughed and kissed Gaara's swollen lips before venturing back towards Gaara's ear where he sucked an earlobe into his mouth briefly before settling on sucking on Gaara's neck. Shifting around momentarily until he found an ideal spot, Naruto focused his efforts on the pale skin, causing Gaara to curse at the sensitivity of his skin as goose bumps formed under Naruto's touch. But nonetheless, he twisted his neck, gasping as he permitted Naruto to bite and suckle at the naked flesh. "Ugh…w-what are you doing?" He whispered out quietly as his breath escaped in short, shallow bursts.

"Marking you," he lowered his mouth to suck against Gaara's pulse once more before releasing his mouth and giving a few tantalizing licks over the area. "So tomorrow you'll limp into work and everybody will know how thoroughly I fucked you the previous night." He smirked as shivers ran through the red haired man's body and Gaara whimpered in response. God, why did the idea of that sound so…appealing? "I can't wait to fuck you."

"Who says I'm the one who's gonna get fucked?"

"Babe, the only way you'll ever top me is if you're riding me."

"Your shamefully overinflated ego is really charming." Gaara pulled at his jeans, removing the stiff clothing and his underwear at the same time, almost kneeing in Naruto in the balls in the process. Now _that_ would have been an instant turn-off. He chucked them into the driver's seat and turned back just in time for Naruto to let out an appreciative whistle as he trailed his eyes over Gaara's skinny frame. Gaara cocked his head to the left. What was he, a main course meal being held up to a starving man? Naruto licked his lips and Gaara swore to god that if this man started drooling, he was gonna kick him out the car and leave Naruto standing naked with a severe case of blue-balls out in the cold evening air. "If you weren't so hot, I would have kicked you out a long time ago." Wait. Had he just said that? Damn it! The upwards tilt of Naruto's lips from below him clearly showed how proud the tanned man was of himself. Fuck, his entire face just screamed 'Ha! I told you so!' and the possessive way Naruto licked across Gaara's forming hickey merely added to this.

So to stop that sneer of his, Gaara mouthed across Naruto's face until he reached his eyebrow and sucked the pierced skin into his mouth, tongue stroking against the metal. Gaara let out his own smirk when Naruto whimpered.

"Take off my trousers." Naruto mumbled after a while and Gaara complied, slipping the clothing down so that it piled up somewhere near his tanned ankles and freeing Naruto's stiff member which now lay proudly against a toned stomach. Teal eyes widened. _Holy shit._ Was there really nothing wrong with this guy? Gaara reached out a tentative hand and stroked it firmly across Naruto's cock. A few jerky up and down movements along Naruto's impressive shaft followed as Gaara traced a vein on the underside of his cock with one finger. He made sure to touch the slit at the top before pulling back his hand and sticking one finger into his mouth. The exaggerated moan he let out was well worth the shocked, if not completely turned on and horny look that Naruto gave him in return.

Feeling confident, he stuck another finger in his mouth and licked the bitter but not unpleasant taste away before pulling Naruto's face against his and rubbing their tongues together in a passionate kiss. Naruto moaned at th_e _taste and Gaara sighed satisfyingly as Naruto's grip on his thighs tightened and the man bucked up, sliding their cocks together and creating that glorious friction that both men craved. _Oh, fuck! That felt good. _Gaara rolled his hips down in return and the two set up a slow, if not extremely powerful rhythm until both men stared at each other with dilated pupils, both of their cocks leaking pre-cum and just _begging_ for more.

Gaara let out a sad whimper when Naruto finally stopped their movements as he dug a hand down into the open bag near his feet, face pressed against Gaara's chest at the awkward angle and lack of space in car.

"Are you always this prepared, or was this just a special occasion?" Gaara voiced as he eyed the bottle of lube that Naruto withdrew from his bag and popped the cap with an experienced hand.

"I like to be ready for anything that might come my way." He squeezed generous amount into his palm and rolled his fingers to coat them evenly. "Now, I must say, I was not expecting you to bend over so easily but…here we are." He smiled and gestured at the air around him, ignoring the drop of lube that fell from his index finger onto the carpeted floor.

"You bastard. I'm _not_ bending over for you."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm n – Wait! What are you doing?!" Gaara yelped and squirmed as two hands settled at his hips and lifted the man easily. They turned him round so that Gaara now faced the car park, his pale hands supporting his weight against the dashboard, crouched awkwardly in Naruto's lap, legs on either side of the man with his ass stuck in the air – conveniently, right in front of Naruto's gleeful face. The red head shifted uncomfortably and let out a distressed huff. "I hate you."

"Oh, come on, babe." Naruto cooed as he ran a lube covered finger from the base of Gaara's spine, all the way down between the redhead's parted cheeks until he stroked teasingly at Gaara's entrance. "Fuck, you're gonna be so tight." He mumbled more to himself than anyone else as he prodded gently, taking great joy in the way Gaara hips jerked against the cool touch of his finger.

"You – oh!" The insult died on Gaara's lips and instead a series of gasps escaped his mouth as he pushed back against the finger. Fuck, why did that feel so much better than Gaara ever it remembered it feeling? Not that he'd had a lot of strangers' fingers up his ass before anyway. Gaara usually preferred to prepare himself. So maybe the reason why Naruto's finger felt so much deeper inside him was because Gaara quite often struggled to reach anywhere near his prostrate due to the uncomfortable angle of his twisted arm as he endeavoured to pleasure himself. Right, he was thinking about this way too much. He had a man's finger up his ass! Gaara didn't need to think about the science behind it all for Christ's sake!

Gaara sighed when Naruto lazily withdrew his finger, subconsciously tensing as the blonde man (who was enjoying himself _way_ too much,) ran the long digit around the rim of Gaara's entrance before pushing back in, this time with a second finger to accompany the first. Gaara pushed against the dashboard for more support, allowing his head to fall down and rest next to his arms as Gaara's hips convulsed uncontrollably, bucking against air in a way that had Naruto undoubtedly smirking when he leaned forward to bite gently at the flesh of the toned cheek presented to him. "Eager, aren't you." He remarked, scissoring his fingers and laughing at the unidentifiable sound that left Gaara's lips when he curled his fingers up and stroked against Gaara's prostate in blissful torture.

Then Naruto began to drag his fingers out slowly, _slowly_, so _fucking_ slowly. Gaara mewled, the feeble cry escaping into the air suddenly, causing Naruto to stop, fingers having almost completely pulled out of the shivering body on top of him. He gave a small sad, comforting noise. "Too much for you to handle, babe?" He murmured and opened his fingers right near Gaara's entrance. The redhead's mouth swiftly fell open and he panted. "You alright there, Gaara?" He asked voice laced with fake curiosity and worry before he reached his other hand out and smacked Gaara's right butt cheek, sending a sharp sting into Gaara's body but not bringing the younger man any serious discomfort. Then Naruto made an apologetic noise before he spluttered into laughter and Gaara could just about imagine the horrid sneer that indubitably coated his face.

"B-bastard!"

"What was that?" Naruto faked innocence as he pushed the digits back in brutally slowly. "Awh, don't be like that babe. I want you to enjoy this, but…" He clicked his tongue as his voice faded away and he gave a dark chuckle as he withdrew the fingers. "Don't." He plunged them back in. "Cum." He dragged them out. "Too." He pushed them back in, curling them and pressing down _hard_ on Gaara's prostate. "Soon." He finished sweetly, smiling widely as he watched Gaara clawing uselessly at the windscreen, squeals of joy falling from his mouth as he bucked and pushed himself back on the fingers desperately. Desperate for that blinding pleasure that came with each stab that bundle of nerves. And Naruto, being the complete and utter fucking bastard of a cunt that he was, just pulled his fingers away and spanked Gaara's ass again as a sign for the shaking man to turn around. This time the impact tore a pleased gasp from Gaara and the poor man flushed.

Gaara was pretty sure that his face and ass were now the same horrid shade of pink; one from the slap of Naruto's palm against sensitive skin and the other from the humiliation of having been bent over some guy, naked, having been fingered until he was practically sobbing and having his ass spanked twice. Okay, why did that sound so much kinkier than it should have? And why had he enjoyed it way more than he normally would have?

Gaara still didn't know how he managed to clamber around without face-planting unattractively into Naruto's crotch with his quivering limbs not providing much support and being more of a useless burden than anything else. But he succeeded, somehow, though being sat staring at the gleeful face of Naruto really had Gaara reconsidering his choice of turning round. Maybe he should have stayed with his back against that tanned chest. At least that way he could've admired the lovely view of dismal car park, maybe even have given a cheery, if not slightly horny and unsteady thumbs up to any chav that wondered past idly. Though, Gaara would be lying if he denied that Naruto wasn't the hottest piece of ass he'd ever come across. And now that he sat naked in the equally naked lap of Naruto, with his hardened cock rubbing against that toned stomach of his whilst Naruto's own member rubbed intentionally teasingly against Gaara's ass, Gaara decided that he could maybe, _just maybe_ survive the onslaught of Naruto's annoying crooked smile.

"Condom?"

Naruto smirked as he chucked Gaara a small packet. "Gonna put it on my cock, babe?" He looked at Gaara in that expectant mocking way his.

"You wish." Gaara threw it back at the older man, sighing at the man's feigned pout before Naruto ripped open the packet. Gaara shifted backwards slightly and Naruto slipped the condom onto his cock one-handed with ease. "Get a lot of practise doing that?"

"Yup. Jealous?"

Jealous? Of what? Gonorrhoea? No thanks. Gaara pulled his lips up in distaste and Naruto laughed at him as if he knew exactly what the pale man was thinking. Now that Gaara thought about it, he probably did. The guy had already somehow persuaded Gaara into doing the dirty deed with him. Gaara wasn't about to put any other telepathic abilities past this gorgeous man.

Gaara hovered above Naruto's cock as soon as Naruto had coated himself in a healthy layer of lube. One hand was clenched around Naruto's neck, yanking at the blonde hairs that grew there, whilst his other hand was pressed up against the steamed up window of the car. Gaara quickly removed that hand in favour of clinging to Naruto's bicep as he pushed down on Naruto's cock, leaving the imprint of Gaara's sweaty flesh on the window in some weird version of that steamy Titantic scene. Though, Gaara and Naruto's re-enactment was a lot kinkier, more realistic, lustful and hotter…plus it was without that annoying 12-rated censoring. Yeah, this was _way_ better.

"You gonna...ugh...ride me then, babe?" Naruto chewed at his bottom lip. Lust filled eyes flickering down to watch, almost mesmerised as Gaara slowly lowered himself onto Naruto, surrounding the tanned man in a practically unbearable heat and tightness. "God…kinky bitch aren't you." Said the man who had found great amusement and joy in spanking Gaara's ass a while ago. And had Gaara not been in the vulnerable position that he was, he would have scoffed loudly at the irony.

"S-shut up," Gaara managed in response before his eyes rolled back and he whined at the intense feeling of being filled completely. _Oh god!_ _He was huge!_ "Nghh..."

Somehow managing a small, choked laugh, Naruto pulled himself towards the red haired man. Leaning into his ear, he breathed out hotly. "Don't deny it, babe. You love it." A tongue came out to trace the shell of Gaara's ear, though when Gaara involuntarily clenched around Naruto's hardened member, Naruto gasped in surprise. Gaara relished that moment for a brief second until Naruto was completely sheathed inside him and both men groaned out together. "You're s-so _tight_." Naruto gave a small buck of the hips and let his head fall back against the seat.

And then he pulled out…and thrust back in…and pulled out…and thrust back in over and over and over _and over_ until Gaara was crying out in pleasure, Naruto was grunting with every thrust and the windows were steaming up even more, providing a layer of protection between them and any unfortunate curious souls who deemed it necessary to wander nearby. And _oh god_! The drag of Naruto's cock inside him; Gaara's eyes fell shut momentarily, mouth open and face flushed, only to open them seconds later to scream out as Naruto pounded right on _that spot_ inside him. At the right angle and in such a way that had Gaara clenching and unclenching and clenching around Naruto's shaft with each jerky thrust.

Time faded away and minutes passed uncaringly. Senses dissolved into their basic primal ones and Gaara's current thoughts didn't progress much past _'so good!'_, _'fuck'_ and _'more, give me more'._ It just felt _so fucking good _as the sounds and grunts of pleasure filled the air along with the sweaty slap of Naruto's balls against Gaara's ass and the groan of the seat beneath them. The musky smellof sex wafted around in the car and it just smelt so shameless and hot. And _the feel of him_, of Naruto thrusting up quickly and strongly, of his hands clutching Gaara's hips so hard that they'd definitely bruise and the feeling of each burst of air from Naruto's mouth tickling against his jaw as their sticky skin rubbed against each other.

_Shit._ Gaara's nails clawed down Naruto's back. "Ah! Oh – fuck! Fuck me!" He practically sobbed out as he bounced up and down on Naruto's member, trapped in a malicious cycle of pleasure and pleasure and _more fucking pleasure_ until Gaara didn't know if he could take much more.

"W-what is this then? What are we?" Naruto grunted a question at Gaara and snapped the poor teenager out of his blissful state with a cruel jab upwards with his hips.

"A g-good fuck." Came the reply, stuttered and short.

"A good fuck? Is that all?" Neither man was confused by what the words meant. Because both knew that other than a 'fuck', their relationship was nothing else. By saying 'is that all', Naruto hadn't implied that he wanted a secure relationship or that he felt used or whatever crap normal people often spewed each in such moments. It was just a naked question, simple and raw yet delivered in such a heated moment that Gaara struggled to respond as he bounced rapidly on the blonde man's thighs.

"Don't you mean…a fucking outstanding fuck?" Naruto answered his own question and grabbed Gaara's hips even harder, slamming the man's body down just as he bucked up. It caused the red haired man to fling his head back, body arching into a beautiful shape whilst he howled out his agreement frantically.

"Oh god! Oh god! Right there – right there!"

Naruto let out a small laugh that disappeared into a groan as he continued to buck him hips upwards into that tight heat, right against that spot within Gaara that had the redhead writhing in Naruto's lap and clinging to his shoulders so tightly that his nails scrapped marks against the tanned skin. Neither man was particularly worried about this though as Naruto punched a broken gasp out of Gaara's mouth with every, single, thrust.

"F-fuck! Never took you for a screaming bottom, babe." But as soon as those words left Naruto's lips, the moans and whimpers disappeared, replaced by the more obvious sound of skin smacking skin now that neither man was filling the air with noises of their delight. Gaara bit down on his lip hard, making small muffled noises and the occasional strained gasp, suddenly feeling embarrassed by his previous loud exclamations of joy. His face flushed bright red; his sounds now staying trapped in his throat, like he was ashamed of anyone hearing them. Though apparently, this was not what the tanned man wanted. "No…ugh. It's hot. I want to hear you!" Naruto groaned and clenched his teeth together briefly. "It's _so_ fucking hot!"

"N-no." Gaara clamped his mouth shut, determined to not humiliate himself again. And his plan would have worked too, had Naruto not began thrusting his hips up at a faster, harder, more brutal pace whilst his hands of the pale man's hips forced Gaara to bounce wantonly in his lap. "Oh! Oh! OH! Ahh! Nar-uto!" Gaara cried out, sounds spilling from his lips as the man tried to desperately cling onto any ounce of control he had.

He failed miserably.

"Yeah. Fuck, that's good, babe! Fuck yourself on my cock. _Shit_!" Naruto groaned out, falling back against the car seat as his hands slipped from Gaara's sweaty skin and his hips stopped bucking up. He watched, with that annoying shit-eating grin of his as Gaara continued to roll his hips, rising and falling on Naruto's cock whilst cries of pleasure erupted from Gaara's open mouth. Naruto observed with lazy, lust-ridden eyes as Gaara worked both of them closer to completion, taking great joy in watching the way Gaara's body swallowed his cock so eagerly and so _fucking_ easily. Like the redhead's body was just bloody made for this. Naruto's eyes trailed up, until he met the dilated pupils of Gaara's eyes and cocked an eyebrow. "You're –ah, fucking loving this, aren't you? Ngh…!"

Gaara ignored him. And judging by the predatory, evil glint in Naruto's eyes…that hadn't been a wise move.

A _smack_ resonated through the air as Gaara cried out, red hand print forming nicely on his right ass cheek and his left cheek swiftly received a similar mark from Naruto's palm as Naruto pounded up into Gaara. Gaara would have probably taken pride in the way Naruto's gleeful expression disintegrated into a face of pure bliss as a wave of pleasure swallowed any remaining smugness, had he not currently been rolling his eyes back and curling his toes, rocking back into the forceful thrusts of Naruto.

"Yes! Yes! Fuck, yes! Ahh!" Gaara reached for his leaking hard cock, begging for more stimulation, only to find his hands pinned to his sides and Naruto's face leering up at him. "N-Nar-ahh-uto?" He managed to get out in breathless anticipation and a sudden sense of nerves took over. And Gaara couldn't really help that. 'Cause seriously, writhing and whimpering on a stranger's cock and then glancing down to find him smirking up at you with your hands restrained would have caused nerves to flutter in anyone's stomach. Gaara gazed down as Naruto looked up innocently, causing the lustful man to wonder how the fuck _anyone _managed to look innocent when they were fucking someone. Okay, this man was definitely strange. And he was definitely breaking every single rule, boundary and expectation Gaara had ever set. Besides, who even agrees to fuck a complete stranger who's been stalking them?! Oh, that's right. Gaara does.

But then Gaara's worries floated away as soon as Naruto chuckled and leant forward to capture the pink nub on his chest between his teeth and nibbled gently. Gaara's teal eyes widened and he moaned pitifully. When had his nipples been that sensitive?! Naruto ran his tongue across the sensitive flesh now, glancing up at Gaara to give him a darkened, lust-filled stare that had breathless pants escaping the pale man. Naruto raised his pierced eyebrow in amusement and sucked at the nub back in his mouth, taking great delight in the slurping noise that rose into the air and had Gaara squirming to loosen the grip he had over his delicate wrists.

"Sumthn' wron, babe?" He mumbled out, words unclear as he flicked a tongue sharply over the hardened nipple and scraped his teeth over it in a way that had Gaara letting out these little breathy noises and whimpers.

But _oh god_! All this! All this magnificent torture. All this teasing. All those _deep thrusts_ that pulled groans of delight from Gaara. All the ways he swiped his tongue over Gaara's body. All those ways that Naruto managed to make Gaara _completely debauched_ and feel devastatingly good and yet, Naruto _still_ remained composed enough to add his little endearments to his cocky little sentences and had enough control over his muscles still to pull a smirk up at Gaara _whilst_ he casually rocked his hips up, burying himself inside Gaara like he was taking a fucking stroll through the park or something. Gaara could've cried…except, he didn't. That would just be mortifying. Though, considering how every single nerve of his _forced_ him to response enthusiastically and wail out his enjoyment, Gaara wouldn't have been surprised if a drop leaked from his eyes due to pure intensity and uncontrolled pleasure.

Naruto pulled his mouth away with yet another loud slurp and Gaara didn't know whether to be relieved that Naruto hadn't just managed to completely unravel him…or to be disappointed that the blonde man had pulled away. Though, Gaara did kind of want to raise his hand up and protectively cover his puckered nub (the irony would hit him later when he wasn't being impaled on some idiot's cock). He just wasn't fond of the way Naruto stared at it merrily, taking in the red, abused nipple and feeling pride for the way Gaara had unconsciously arched his back and pleaded for Naruto to continue his ministrations.

"Go on, touch yourself." He purred and winked and slowly let go of Gaara's hands, placing his own back down to Gaara's hips and continuing his steady rhythm of thrusting upwards and rolling his hips whilst the redhead mewled above him.

Gaara trailed a hand down his chest, quickly pausing to tweak his neglected nipple before moving lower and flicking his wrist over his aching cock that stood proudly, bouncing erotically in his lap with each buck of Naruto's hips. Wrapping a small hand around it, he began to jerk himself to completion. Moans ripped from his throat, the sounds cut short whenever Gaara decided to clench his teeth together and move his hand up and down his shaft at a faster, more urgent pace. "F-fuck!" Gaara's movements were sloppy, too overcome by the drag of Naruto's member against his little bundle of nerves and thus the way he fucked his own hand changed constantly and all attempts of sticking to a specific technique faded away.

"Ah! Nghh! Please N-Naruto!" Two strong hands slammed Gaara's body down as the redhead's own hand gripped his cock firmly, jerking in uncontrolled sloppy movements until Gaara's breathe hitched and he came with a silent scream, mouth agape, back arching into an impossible yet beautiful angle whilst he painted both himself and Naruto in cum. Shit. Gaara slouched in his position, chest heaving as he tried and failed to control the tremors that ran through his body whilst Naruto continued to bounce the poor man in his lap.

Bloody hell! Who would have guessed that Naruto would have been such a good fuck! Gaara had thought that the blonde's confident persona and attitude was all ploy; that this perfection of man had some kind of massive flaw when it came to delivering what his words had promised. But fuck. He most certainly had fulfilled everything.

"Uh!" The sound echoed throughout the cramped vehicle, only to be joined by another similar sound and another…and another, until Gaara let out a quiet sound of discomfort and clamped his mouth shut. Wide teal eyes, still clouded over from the after-glows of his release stared earnestly at Naruto, silently begging for the older man to stop bucking up into Gaara's warm, sensitive body that just begged to pull away from the continuous pounding before Gaara turned into a shaking mess unable to control his limbs. But the constant drag of Naruto's cock against his prostate, the way he almost pulled out completely before impaling Gaara on his shaft or the way he liked to spread the redhead's legs wider apart, to give himself a better view did not stop. And pretty soon, pleasure mixed with a tiny hint of pain as Gaara's body struggled to handle the over-powering sensations that ran throughout his small frame in a vicious cycle.

"N-Naruto." Gaara managed to whine out before his eyes rolled back and he panted. It was _too_ much. Too much stimulation! _Too much!_ With every nerve within the pale man's body practically bursting from over-sensitivity and still trying to recover from his explosive orgasm, the feeling of Naruto rolling his hips and pushing his cock in and in and _in_ was just too much for the whimpering man; though, the fake considering look and vaguely sympathetic noise that Naruto directed at him suggested that the blonde really, didn't give a shit.

And thus when Gaara attempted to pull away with a half-hearted effort, Naruto just laughed and pushed up even harder, hitting that sensitive bundle of nerves with each thrust and sending Gaara into a babbling mess as the redhead slammed his eyes shut and just clung on to Naruto's shoulders. All attempts of removing himself from Naruto's lap dissolved away as the older man bounced Gaara up and down and _up_ and _down_ with ease, groaning with each buck of the hips and somehow managing a slightly lopsided, dazed smile each time Gaara yelped and arched his body.

"I-It's too much." He managed to gasp out at one point, nails scraping down Naruto's back, digging into tanned flesh as Gaara struggled to hold on.

Naruto stopped suddenly after the redhead's comment, leaving Gaara bucking and writhing uncertainly in his lap; Naruto cocked his pierced brow and the duo stared at each other silently. Gaara taking in nervous gulps of air when Naruto shifted slightly, cock pressing directly against his over-sensitive bundle of nerves. "But babe," Naruto ran a single finger down Gaara's chest, causing shivers to run through the redhead's body, before placing a gentle, somewhat loving kiss against Gaara's jaw. "I ain't finished yet. And you're just so…" This time he nipped at Gaara's shoulder. "Pretty in my lap." Naruto pulled away with a smirk and gave a harsh, experimental thrust of his hips.

Gaara swallowed…Crap.

And all words of protest died on his lips as Naruto jerked upwards, hands on Gaara's hips forcing him to lift up and then plunge down brutally on top of Naruto's cock. A howl of pleasure or pain (Gaara wasn't too sure at this point,) ripped from his swollen, red lips.

Gaara had long ago given up trying to figure out if he was trying to escape the impending mix of pleasure and pain, or if he was unknowingly welcoming each harsh roll of Naruto's hips and taking every single piece of unadulterated pleasure that the tanned man gave him. All he knew was that if he had not just come two minutes ago, he would've been rock hard and aching for Naruto's sinful touch. Yet as Naruto pulled Gaara flush against his chest, rubbing sweaty tanned skin against sweaty pale skin, Gaara still whimpered in wanting and lust, especially when he felt Naruto's invasive hands trail down to clasp his ass, spreading the cheeks apart and giving any willing or unwilling passer-by a great view of Naruto's cock disappearing into Gaara's ass with each grunt.

Judging by the low, husky laugh…Naruto had thought of the same thing as he kneaded the flesh in his grasp and swallowed Gaara's squeal of surprise when he pounded up _so fucking hard_ and _so fucking fast_ for the last time before releasing Gaara's lips and coming with a loud groan and final lazy roll of his hips…During which Gaara struggled to begin breathing normally.

When Naruto's hips finally stilled, only then did Gaara permit himself to flutter his eyes open slowly and try to loosen his grip from Naruto's shoulders. His arms dropped heavily to his sides, leaving finger shaped bruises on Naruto's skin, but frankly, Gaara couldn't have given a shit if his nails had caused the blonde man to bleed or something. After all, Gaara was already certain that he'd leave this car limping and it was only fair that Naruto left supporting his own collection of injuries.

Fuck! The redhead inhaled and exhaled nosily, teal eyes ghosting over Naruto's exhausted body. Gaara would never, _ever _admit if it out loud but...fuck, if that hadn't been the best sex of his short life so far then he didn't know what had.

He gave a dry, shattered laugh, heading no attention to the drop of sweat that cascaded down his brow before dropping onto Naruto's muscle defined stomach and slumped against the figure beneath him, his tiny frame quivering overwhelmingly as Gaara panted and attempted to regain the use of his limbs. Pushing a clenched fist against Naruto's chest, he endeavoured to pull away from the sweaty male so that he could retreat back into his own seat and pretend that he had not just screamed in ecstasy whilst riding Naruto's cock; Gaara just didn't want to give him that satisfaction, though it was probably already too late.

Yet as he tried to lift himself off Naruto's softening member, he gasped at his own sensitivity as his toes curled and he collapsed back against Naruto. Through his messy babble of whimpers he swore he heard Naruto release a tired chuckle as a tanned hand moved to gently hold Gaara against him. The red head turned his head against Naruto's neck and inhaled his musky smell shakily. Well, he supposed he could remain straddling Naruto for a while longer; it wasn't exactly like he was in a rush or anything.

"I suppose now is the right time to say that I have a fully functioning car and I can give you a ride." Naruto commented after a while and had Gaara possessed enough energy, he would've slapped the man.

"You're a cunt." He sighed instead. The jibe was weak though, probably due to a mixture of tiredness and the fact that it was quite hard to insult a man whose softened dick was still up Gaara's ass. Oh well, at least he'd tried, Gaara concluded as Naruto's strong hand came up to wipe the sweaty strands that were stuck to his forehead away. Gaara smiled then and just couldn't help the small afterthought that slipped out. "And…I thought you already gave me a ride?" He sucked his lip into his mouth as Naruto's eyes widened and the man let out a laugh at the flirtatious comment. Wait, had Gaara just said that? Okay, someone punch him for that.

"I…could always give you another one?" Naruto placed a final kiss on Gaara's pouted lips and Gaara was no longer sure which _ride_ the man was referring to as the bastard chuckled and pulled Gaara closer.

"I'll think about it."

* * *

What is this?! Did you just read like 6000 words of NaruGaa having smex? Yes, yes you did xD Yay for smutty NaruGaa *cheers* But who knew it would get so long *rubs back of head and chuckles* Hope it was alright.

Anyways, please review! And thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed or added this story to their favourites! You're all awesome.


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